Everything was going so well this week that the small pessimist in me was waiting for something to shift. .. and it did. Well I can't say that we had a bad day, it just scared me. I arrived and got to hold them both.. we all fell asleep which was great as usual. They know me now and just snuggle in and fall asleep which I treasure. A short break later, I came back at 2pm and did my first nutritive feed. Austin latched and did pretty well, Grace did too but I knew she didn't get much. They both then finished their bottles on top of what they got from me. They were full but no one threw up, sweet! I was feeling good.. tired but good... and very proud of my little stars.
I went and got a coffee and rested for a bit, and came back for the 5pm feed. I had no idea how this second feed was going to go bc they have never done three feeds by mouth in a row. I started with Grace and she latched immediately, and I think she got A LOT because we tried to finish her with the rest of the bottle but she handled it horribly! She not only refused to eat anymore, she had two bradys (HR went down to 66!) back to back and they scared me to death. She was refluxing a bit too I think. We laid her down after she recovered of course, swaddled her and I picked up Austin. He wasn't interested in breast feeding at all which was a disappointment. Our nurse said, no big deal and she started bottle feeding him which ended up being fine. I was still full so I had to pump before I left and got started.. about a minute into it, I heard Grace's alarm and looked over. She was BLUE! The nurse couldn't get up bc she was feeding Austin and I was pumping so I dropped my pump to get to Grace immediately. She was having another brady and this time, it didn't go so well. I managed to get her out of her crib and unwrapped and after some coaxing, she finally took a breath. Geeeeez.. I about had a heart attack. She ended up being fine and I was probably overreacting but I will never get used to those darn bradys!!! She hasn't had any in a while and today she had three. Ugh. The good news in all of this is that she took to breast feeding and I think she prefers it because she can control the flow. With the bottle she can't and I think she tried and failed.
This is all on the heals of speaking with the discharge nurse today about final preparations before they come home.. that it will probably be the week after next and how excited I was to even talk about getting them home. Episodes like this make me terrified to bring them home, to let them fall asleep on their own without me watching them. I might ask for a monitor just so that I can sleep. ;) It does feel like the downhill stretch though and if I can get Austin to breastfeed more efficiently and get Grace to stop having events.. we might all make it.
Tomorrow, we will do the same thing again.. 11am to 5pm and then try two feeds back to back earlier in the day this weekend so I don't have to be away from the boys so much. The week was as follows:
Bootcamp
2 days one bottle/bf per shift (2 per day)
2 days two bottles/bf per shift (4 per day)
2 days three bottles/bf per shift (6 per day).. we are currently here.
If we can master this third stage, the kids get their feeding tubes out and we can really start planning for their homecoming. I will be praying that they are able to tolerate this jump with flying colors and we can get them home.
Updates
Gtace weighs 5 lbs. 4 oz. and Austin weighs 5 lbs. 10 oz. :)
Much love to you all,
Erica and Tom
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