Getting up to speed.. from Day 5
As of two weeks ago, everything changed with my pregnancy.. I started having contractions that were several minutes apart at home and when I called the doctor, she suggested we go to the hospital. At 11pm with a 2 year old in bed.. let's just say that was not what we wanted to hear. We showed up at Cedars thinking that it was a false alarm and we would be going home that night. I packed nothing, and was ill prepared for what came next. My cervix was dialated 1cm and then Austin started doing something strange. His heart rate kept dropping like he was playing with his umbilical cord. That continued for 24 hours and it was not the easiest experience because they starved me all day long.. thinking that I was going back at any minute for an emergency c-section. They put me on magnesium, gave me steriod shots, the works.. and I was able to stay in that state for several days. Essentially I was in labor for 5 days straight off and on and given that I had a planned c-section before, this was not a comfortable moment.. for any of us.
On Christmas Day, not only did my contractions come back ten fold but my water broke on Grace's side. We thought that I could make it a few more weeks but I developed an infection that gave me a fever, my cervix thinned to 1.9 and apparently Grace started moving down so low that her feet were in my birth canal. They rushed me into surgery and I delivered my two precious babies that day at 5:31pm and 5:32 pm. Grace came first and weighed in at 2.11 lbs. Austin weighed 3.2 and they are now both in the NICU for 10-12 weeks. It is so surreal and heart wrenching at the same time. As of today, they are 7 days old. Our hearts are with them and we will continue to visit them each day and hold them as much as possible.
Some updates from the past few days..
Grace
She has dark hair and olive looking skin but it changes when her bilirubin is lower. She has been breathing open air for most of the past 7 days, sHe lost several ounces at first but she's gained weight to 2.10, has a cute dimple on her right cheek, she's sassy and loves her little knit cap and being swaddled in heart fabric bunting. She is the smaller of the two by 1/4 inch but they are close in size now. She's increased her feedings from 1.5 to 3 to 5ml, then from 8ml to 11ml .. yay!! We are shooting for 23ml so she is half way there.
Austin
He has light hair and fair skin like me (Erica) but also changes with the lamps, so they could switch hair and skin color before they get out. He's been breathing open air for seven days as well but his weight is fluctuating a lot. He went from 3.2 down to 2.9 and has stayed there until today. He is now 2.12 1/2 and hopefully will be back at his birth weight soon. He is eating more than Grace and started at 2 ml and then 5 then 8ml. Today he started on 15ml so that is great news. He loves snuggling and literally crawled up my chest yesterday to get right under my chin, so sweet. He was born at 16 1/4" and Grace at 16" ... Hopefully they both will grow quickly.
Tom has been amazing throughout the entire process and we love visting them together in the NICU. It helps so much to have each other to lean on. Of cource trying to balance our time with Tommy is a challenge but we think it is going well so far. Over time, we will have a schedule in place that will be beneficial to all of us.
I will keep this blog for updates on the kids from now on.. I know everyone wants to know how they are doing so hopefully this will be a good place to come for that.
Love to all of you!!
Erica (& Tom )
Erica,
ReplyDeleteSweet friend... I wish I could be there to answer all of the questions I had when Ford and Hayden were in the NICU 4 years ago this coming Sunday. I, too, was NOT prepared for the roller coaster we were going to ride on for the next 5 months until Ford and Hayden came home. I had never met a soul who'd had babies born before 30 weeks, let alone 25. I want to tell you it does get better... And even very sick babies like the boys come home and thrive. If you are anything like me and other mommies I have talked to... You are feeling guilt over not being able to protect them from the world, but you have given them and will continue to love them well through this process. I mean it when I say in hindsight it was all a blessing. Not a day goes by that I don't cherish them and consider myself blessed and fortunate to be their mommy. There could be long days and nights ahead and a void until they come home, but for some reason the Lord saw fit that you could handle special preemie twins. I was searching our old blog tonight trying to find the right words or wisdom to impart to you from all the beautiful posts that came our way, but instead I welled up with tears... Reading advice from other preemie moms who offered similar words that I've been sending you... And hoping will offer you some hope as you head home each night from the NICU and put your head on the pillow and try to sleep, but can only thing of those two precious little miracles that seem to have more fight in them than any adult could ever muster. I pray every ultrasound, scan, blood work, X-ray and so on is clear and free of any issues. I pray you and Tom find strength from the other when one is weak or weary from worry.
I'm honestly not sure I believed in the power of prayer before the boys came into this world, but I do now. All I have to do is look at those precious faces to know how real it is... Blind faith is a tough thing to have, but during such moments of uncertainty it is a comforting force.
Dana
Sent to me from someone who prayed for us while we were in the NICU:
ReplyDeleteHow Preemie Moms Are Chosen
(Adapted from Erma Bombeck)
Did you ever wonder how the mothers of premature babies are chosen? Somehow, I visualize God hovering over Earth, selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As he observes, he instructs his angels to take notes in a giant ledger. "Beth Armstrong, son. Patron Saint, Matthew. Marjorie Forrest, daughter. Patron Saint, Celia. Carrie Rutledge, twins. Patron Saint ... give her Gerard. He's used to profanity." Finally, he passes a name to an angel and smiles. "Give her a preemie."
The angel is curious. "Why this one, God? She's so happy."
"Exactly, " smiles God. "Could I give a premature baby a mother who knows no laughter? That would be cruel."
"But does she have the patience?" asks the angel.
"I don't want her to have too much patience, or she'll drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wear off, she'll handle it. I watched her today. She has that sense of self and independence so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has a world of its own. She has to make it live in her world, and that's not going to be easy."
"But Lord, I don't think she even believes in you."
God smiles. "No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just the right amount of selfishness."
The angel gasps, "Selfishness?! Is that a virtue?"
God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she will never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn't know it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a spoken word. She will never consider a step ordinary. When her child says 'mama' for the first time, she will be witness to a miracle and know it. I will permit her to see clearly the things I see – ignorance, cruelty, prejudice – and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side."
"And what about her Patron Saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised in the air. God smiles. "A mirror will suffice."
truly amazing christmas story.... look forward to the posts... a breath of fresh air!
ReplyDeleteget well t2 and t3!
XOXO, KATHY