Ugh.. Today was not a good experience. We arrived all chipper ready to hold the kids again and once I got them all situated, Austin kept squirming in my right arm. He was obviously not comfortable but I thought he would adjust. What was really waiting for me was one desat after another. They both decided to have a bad day and it was so frustrating bc I was holding both of them and couldn't do much to adjust them, pull their heads back, etc. Mom just kept trying to help me and we were both overwhelmed.. After about 45 minutes, we gave up. I had to leave the room to take a deep breath. We eventually just went and ate and came back to look at them. It was as if they were super sensitive to my touch today which made me feel sad. I know that every day is different though and they could be going through an important stage today that I can't see. Ii is taking everything in my power not to project into the future when I'm trying to breast feed them at the same time and it just won't work. I have visions of not being able to hold them both.. Anxiety of having two instead of one. Each day seems to bring a new challenge and hopefully tomorrow will go more smoothly.
I have decided to ease into holding them at the same time.. Maybe stick with one at a time for a bit til they get a little bigger.
More tomorrow..
Much love to you,
Erica & Tom
No comments:
Post a Comment