Not a great day for Austin. :(

This week just seems to be a rough one and I am hoping that next week gets better. We arrived to find two gorgeous babies all dressed and swaddled, waiting for their parents to hold them. I was really excited to see them and couldn't wait to hold Austin today. Grace was tough yesterday so I was hoping for a smooth ride today. Tom had Grace and she did pretty well.. fell asleep promptly as usual and had a few b&d's during their visit but they weren't bad, she always recovered on her own. I had Austin and we had such a great day yesterday, I thought he would just crash and burn. About 40 minutes into his nap, he had this massive desat, brady and apnea episode all at once. His heart rate went down to 40, his oxygenation went down to 29 and it stayed there for more than a minute. I was holding him so the nurse came over and was giving him oxygen while he was on my chest. He looked so calm and peaceful though and I just kept trying to wake him up. It was a scary minute to say the least and I eagerly volunteered to put him back into his incubator so that he could stabilize quickly. What a nightmare.. I know that these "events" as they call them are getting less and less frequent but it is hard for us to deal with each day. I wish I could be as nonchalant as the nurses are when they happen. In my mind, I am thinking.. he almost died right then! I am soooo glad they are in the NICU and not at home right now. I would never be able to keep them going on my own. So, today I am beyond grateful for the staff and the technology at the NICU and they will be there until these types of things don't happen anymore. Never mind what I will be doing when they are home.. watching them breathe in and out and checking every second to make sure they are alive. That is several months down the road though and we will cross that bridge then.

We met a volunteer today who is a graduate and her daughter is now 5. We were so taken by her willingness to come and speak to parents every other Friday for 4 hours. This journey is not one that is taken lightly and somehow you know that but when you are in your own personal challenge, it seems like we are the only ones with babies struggling to make it.. how wrong could I be? There are 6 bays in that NICU with 8 beds per bay, and there are so many babies with parents in our boat. As time passes we are already trying to think of ways to give back. It seems that we are all in battle together and the scars are shared. The relationships you develop with other parents seem almost instant which is amazing given how emotionally sterile LA can be at times.

We do have some good news to share and that is that the kids have grown..

Updates
Austin
He is so close to being 4 lbs! at 3 lbs. 13 oz. today, I couldn't be more happy because the bigger he is the better!!! Feedings have not changed and probably won't for a while .. his massive event today was from reflux and he ended up spitting some milk out afterwards. I am just glad he didn't aspirate.
We checked his height and he has grown 1/4" since birth and is now 16 1/2".. wow that was fast!

Grace
She is weighing in at 3lbs. 8.9 oz... she has not grown yet but I am sure she will soon. She is still on the same feedings and seems to be handling them really well with no residuals and soft tummy. ;) She keeps trying to pull her feeding tube out and we are shocked at how dexterous she is.. she can lift her head and manages to maneuver her fingers quite effectively.. she is on watch now every time we hold her.. little magician!

I have posted some new pics.. some are from days ago but they were on my camera and not my phone so it's a spattering of shots. Enjoy! The files are big so if you click on them you will go to the pictures themselves and you can see them better.

Much love to you all,

Erica and Tom