This week has been quite eventful..the kids officially slept thru the night.. Well, Grace slept five hours and Austin slept six. I was pleasantly surprised to say the least. I was hunkering down to have a horrible night after our night nurse cancelled due to illness. How sad that I was dreading it but feeding two crying babies at two am is not fun no matter how you shake it. They are officially sleeping on their backs in one crib now, side by side. We still have to prop Austin up sometimes but he is getting used to it. Wow how times have changed.
They are both little butterballs now.. ESP Gracie.. So cute!!! I sometimes pinch myself that they are actually here and that they are doing so well. Tom and I both feel like the worst part was supposed to be the NICU and as I mentioned previously, again we are realizing that this is the true long haul and it is hard. All of the angst and anxiety of having a newborn ( who happens to be three months old ) times TWO. I will be happy when they are sleeping twelve hours and I'm getting at least seven consistently. I keep reminding myself that this time is precious and should be treasured always and it will be .. After it's over. ;)
We think they are both around nine pounds now.. Can't wait to find out in a few weeks at the pedi office. That is about a six to seven pound weight gain in just a few short months, crazy! The docs say that they will take up to two years to catch up to other kids their age. I met a wonderful mom of twins the other day whose babies were born four days after mine and they each sleep eight hours and weigh TWELVE pounds!! Not fair..
We will get there..
I hope all of you are well and I will try and write again sooner..
Much love,
Erica and Tom
Friday, March 30, 2012
Thursday, March 22, 2012
I'm down for the count..
I'm so frustrated.. I hurt my back and I am in bed today. The kids are being taken care of by our nanny which is such a God send.. I just need a little time to get better. They are doing really well.. still trying to figure out formula and such but for the most part, they are doing great. They are both getting so big! Grace slept for 4 hours the other night so they are both getting close to sleeping longer, yay!!
I had my first whole day with all three of them by myself on Monday. My nanny went back to her Monday job so I will have all three every Monday. Wow, it was an adventure.. I think it is the reason my back went out but I will deal. I am eternally grateful that we have a night nurse and nanny to help bc I think I would go crazy in a very short period of time. It's not even the twins .. it's Tommy AND the twins. He is so used to having all of my attention that when it is just me and the kids, he will compete with them openly for my attention... like practically sitting on my head while I am feeding them ., haha. I ended up taking them all three outside to escape the chaos.. I attached a picture of them in the double BOB stroller that day.
Update on this blog:
I will probably do updates one time a week now that they are monopolizing my time. I know all of you have lives and we are a tornado most of the time. Once a week will allow me to share milestones and not ramble so much. :))
I want to sincerely thank all of you for sharing our journey and being so supportive. It has been amazing to hear about all of the people who have been following us and the love outpouring has been so touching to Tom and I. This has been by far the most challenging 12 months of our lives and knowing that we have family and friends support and love makes it all okay. We are so very lucky to have faired so well at the NICU and we do want to continue to share about the twins if you guys are still interested of course. :))
Thank you so much again!
Tom and Erica
I had my first whole day with all three of them by myself on Monday. My nanny went back to her Monday job so I will have all three every Monday. Wow, it was an adventure.. I think it is the reason my back went out but I will deal. I am eternally grateful that we have a night nurse and nanny to help bc I think I would go crazy in a very short period of time. It's not even the twins .. it's Tommy AND the twins. He is so used to having all of my attention that when it is just me and the kids, he will compete with them openly for my attention... like practically sitting on my head while I am feeding them ., haha. I ended up taking them all three outside to escape the chaos.. I attached a picture of them in the double BOB stroller that day.
Update on this blog:
I will probably do updates one time a week now that they are monopolizing my time. I know all of you have lives and we are a tornado most of the time. Once a week will allow me to share milestones and not ramble so much. :))
I want to sincerely thank all of you for sharing our journey and being so supportive. It has been amazing to hear about all of the people who have been following us and the love outpouring has been so touching to Tom and I. This has been by far the most challenging 12 months of our lives and knowing that we have family and friends support and love makes it all okay. We are so very lucky to have faired so well at the NICU and we do want to continue to share about the twins if you guys are still interested of course. :))
Thank you so much again!
Friday, March 16, 2012
They BOTH slept FOUR whole hours last night!
Woo Hoo! We are working towards them sleeping through the night and last night, the skipped their 11pm feeding. It actually wasn't on purpose. We did the 8pm and they just weren't done eating. Austin more so than Grace, ate and ate.. after 10pm and 5 oz. each (twice what they normally eat!) later, we put them in the crib and waited. They woke up at 1:45am and 2am respectively and I was very pleasantly surprised. Our night nurse could not be with us (her name is Bethany and we think she is wonderful BTW!! Let me know if anyone needs a referral) so I was the night nurse. It wasn't a solid 7 hours straight but almost 4 and then another 2. I will take it. We will try it again tonight to see if this was just a fluke.
Today I took Tommy to Adventureplex and we had a ball together. It was nice to have some alone time with him, just playing and climbing together. He did however hit another child, nice! I swear my excuse is always that he has new siblings at home and that usually helps. This time, another woman.. who was VERY pregnant heard me and said, "when did you deliver them?" I said Christmas Day and she stood up to show me her very pregnant belly, twins. I laughed remembering that the last time we were at Adventureplex, I was VERY pregnant and I delivered the next day. Wow how time flies and how amazing it is to meet other women with huge bellies and there is an instant sympatico. I gave her as much wisdom as I was able to offer. I'm sure it is scary to be so close to delivering .. I can relate. I forget how scary my story is and I try so hard to not share it so as to not strike fear in others, esp. a woman who is about to give birth. I toned it down drastically..
Well, all is ok with the kids. We are getting though each day as best we can. I look forward to the day when they can sleep in their cribs and we can watch them on the monitors. All in due time..
Much love to you all and Happy early St. Patty's Day!
Erica and Tom
Today I took Tommy to Adventureplex and we had a ball together. It was nice to have some alone time with him, just playing and climbing together. He did however hit another child, nice! I swear my excuse is always that he has new siblings at home and that usually helps. This time, another woman.. who was VERY pregnant heard me and said, "when did you deliver them?" I said Christmas Day and she stood up to show me her very pregnant belly, twins. I laughed remembering that the last time we were at Adventureplex, I was VERY pregnant and I delivered the next day. Wow how time flies and how amazing it is to meet other women with huge bellies and there is an instant sympatico. I gave her as much wisdom as I was able to offer. I'm sure it is scary to be so close to delivering .. I can relate. I forget how scary my story is and I try so hard to not share it so as to not strike fear in others, esp. a woman who is about to give birth. I toned it down drastically..
Well, all is ok with the kids. We are getting though each day as best we can. I look forward to the day when they can sleep in their cribs and we can watch them on the monitors. All in due time..
Much love to you all and Happy early St. Patty's Day!
Erica and Tom
Thursday, March 15, 2012
ONE whole pound in two weeks!!!
Sorry for the delay in posting, things have been pretty crazy here. I just got back from the pediatrician's office where the kids got their Synagis vaccines. They were both weighed and Grace came in at 7lbs. 10 oz. and Austin at 7lbs. 14 1/2 oz. .. they have both gained a POUND in two weeks!!! I can't believe it.. they look amazing and so chubby. :)
I have attached some photos from the photo shoot the other day as well. I just ordered the announcements too and I am sooo excited to send them out. Amy did a great job on them. It all feels very surreal to be in this spot. .. just a regular mom with regular kids, three of them to be exact. It is a welcomed rest from the soap opera I call my life.
Updates
Our night nurse is amazing and we are loving her, the kids have outgrown their newborn clothes already and I got out the 0-3 stuff today. We have another appt in a month and that will be the longest they have ever gone without seeing a doctor. Woo hoo!!
Much love to you all,
Erica and Tom
I have attached some photos from the photo shoot the other day as well. I just ordered the announcements too and I am sooo excited to send them out. Amy did a great job on them. It all feels very surreal to be in this spot. .. just a regular mom with regular kids, three of them to be exact. It is a welcomed rest from the soap opera I call my life.
Updates
Our night nurse is amazing and we are loving her, the kids have outgrown their newborn clothes already and I got out the 0-3 stuff today. We have another appt in a month and that will be the longest they have ever gone without seeing a doctor. Woo hoo!!
Much love to you all,
Erica and Tom
Monday, March 12, 2012
A weekend of FIRSTS :))
Now that I have pumped for the last time in my life ;((( I'm trying to find the silver lining which is that I drank COFFEE for the first time in a whole YEAR!!! Caffeine here I come ..I'm so glad to find some normalcy in my life post pregnancy and this is it. After Lent, I will enjoy some much needed champagne too..
We took the risk and put all three kids in the car this weekend. Cabin fever was taking over and we had to escape albeit for a few hours. Sadly, it took an hour just to get everything situated. What we found was that three cars seats take up ALL of the room in our Sequoia.. with a stroller, there is NO free space. I have no idea what we will do when we try and take a trip but they all fit. We drove down to Redondo and got some take out, drove to the seawall and parked. I have to admit, it was so nice to be out of the house. This experience has been so isloating and it is just the beginning.. we are on lockdown until MAY!!!! Arrrrgg.. at least by then they will be bigger and it will be much safer for us to be out around germs. One day at a time.. .. as usual.
We also did an experiment on Austin and found that he prefers Prosobee Enfamil to breast milk, no more screaming.. woo hoo!! We mix the formula with 30ML of BM so that he at least gets a little and he is now sleeping better, just a happier baby. :) That makes us very very happy!
I put both kids in the swing for the first time today and they both LOVED it!! I was nervous about it because Tommy barfed the first time I put him in it. They did great though and I am happy to have something else to put them in.. it's like Wollyworld in here. I'm going to have to move furniture.
Things are pretty staus quo these days and Tommy is getting more and more comfy with them. We are starting to feel like a real family of 5.. wow, never thought I would say that. .. just feeling very very blessed.
Pictures are from my sister's visit and Pam and Tim yesterday. :)
Much love to you all,
Erica and Tom
Saturday, March 10, 2012
It's 2:00am, I'm up.
It's my shift taking care of the twins and of course they won't sleep. Tom did the 11pm feed and let me sleep until 11:45pm which was nice. I went to bed after putting Tommy down. I'm not dead to the world yet so we will see how this schedule works out. Although I would love to keep our nannies for ever, the cold reality is that I need to be able to do this on my own at some point. Well, I take that back.. WE need to figure it out. Right now, it seems to make sense to sleep separately and keep the kids in their room. We take turns sleeping.
So...it's 2am and I'm wide awake. I hate how night time always brings out the most stressful thoughts, things you need to do, things you have forgotten to do, my mind is racing. It's all about the kids of course. After my mental rants, I always come back to the fact that I'm looking at two little miracles. I still can't believe they are here and that will have to slowly sink in over time I suppose. I think back to Tommy and how different his first three months were. I remember being in the hospital and they threatened to put him under billy lights and we were mortified! We spent those first few days frantically trying to get my milk to come in so I could get Tommy breast feeding. I was obsessed with only breast feeding him and Tom had so little to do with his care. My how a few preemies changes your whole perspective. Now, we are a tag team and he cracks me up when he says, "Erica, I'm like a single mom over here!" when we feed them together. He is doing so amazing though and has adapted just like the rest of us. I'm just taken by - you do what you have to do to survive. That is such a humbling thought for me. The past few months have been just that, survival. living from one moment to the next, not one day or even week to the next. .. And I so look forward to not being in that state of mind anymore.
Deep (more like scattered) thoughts at 2:00am, sorry.. The kids are doing fine.. Austin is being tapered off of breastmilk and we started testing formulas today. So far, Gentalese is not the fit. I started Prosobee tonight and will continue that for at least 12 hours. I have two others I can try so we will see. I was laughing thinking .. All three of my kids will have eaten differently. T3 was breast fed for 6-7 months, Grace is bottle fed breast milk and Austin is bottle fed formula and BM. Oh well, again.. Whatever works. They now have matching bouncy chairs and they are sleeping in them which is so nice .. We don't have to hold them as long after each feeding. The daytimes are ok, but at night, I just want to feed them and crash.
Next week, they will get a second dose of what is called Synagis, a vaccine for RSV. Preemies are at a very high risk so it will be important to follow through with it. Good news is that T3 is not getting a cold. It was just allergies, phew!! We are safe for another day. .
. Ok, I need to quit rambling.
Much love to you all,
Erica and Tom.
So...it's 2am and I'm wide awake. I hate how night time always brings out the most stressful thoughts, things you need to do, things you have forgotten to do, my mind is racing. It's all about the kids of course. After my mental rants, I always come back to the fact that I'm looking at two little miracles. I still can't believe they are here and that will have to slowly sink in over time I suppose. I think back to Tommy and how different his first three months were. I remember being in the hospital and they threatened to put him under billy lights and we were mortified! We spent those first few days frantically trying to get my milk to come in so I could get Tommy breast feeding. I was obsessed with only breast feeding him and Tom had so little to do with his care. My how a few preemies changes your whole perspective. Now, we are a tag team and he cracks me up when he says, "Erica, I'm like a single mom over here!" when we feed them together. He is doing so amazing though and has adapted just like the rest of us. I'm just taken by - you do what you have to do to survive. That is such a humbling thought for me. The past few months have been just that, survival. living from one moment to the next, not one day or even week to the next. .. And I so look forward to not being in that state of mind anymore.
Deep (more like scattered) thoughts at 2:00am, sorry.. The kids are doing fine.. Austin is being tapered off of breastmilk and we started testing formulas today. So far, Gentalese is not the fit. I started Prosobee tonight and will continue that for at least 12 hours. I have two others I can try so we will see. I was laughing thinking .. All three of my kids will have eaten differently. T3 was breast fed for 6-7 months, Grace is bottle fed breast milk and Austin is bottle fed formula and BM. Oh well, again.. Whatever works. They now have matching bouncy chairs and they are sleeping in them which is so nice .. We don't have to hold them as long after each feeding. The daytimes are ok, but at night, I just want to feed them and crash.
Next week, they will get a second dose of what is called Synagis, a vaccine for RSV. Preemies are at a very high risk so it will be important to follow through with it. Good news is that T3 is not getting a cold. It was just allergies, phew!! We are safe for another day. .
. Ok, I need to quit rambling.
Much love to you all,
Erica and Tom.
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Grace's hips are ok!
Grace and I took a long drive together today up to Cedars for her hip appt. The ortho said that he wasn't worried and to do another ultrasound in a few weeks. Apparently, the ball joint isn't a perfect circle and sometimes that causes alarm but in this case, it was very minimally off so he suggested keeping an eye on it over the next several months. He wasn't worried though and that was key.
The fun part was having my little girl out about town all by ourselves. It was so strange to be among the living, not in the NICU.. and not cooped up at home. She got so much attention.. positive this time .. sweet!! She looks like a newborn in so many ways, it's hard to tell people she is almost 3 months old. I always end up telling an abridged version of their story.
It also felt strange to not have Austin with me. They are never apart and it made my heart hurt that he was left behind.. are my hormones still kickin or what?? He is having some colic-like issues lately and I am contemplating adding some different formula to his diet. I don't want to take him off of breast milk, but poor little guy is really struggling. :(( It breaks our hearts to hear him cry out in pain. We will try anything.. Grace is so mellow now and eats well, sleeps well.. super calm child. Good thing bc if I had two like Austin, I would freak.
Our Doula is leaving us alone this weekend for the first time since she started and I am scared. I have to admit though, two nights a week is nothing!!! You might not be hearing from me this weekend is all I am sayin..
Much love to all of you,
Erica and Tom
The fun part was having my little girl out about town all by ourselves. It was so strange to be among the living, not in the NICU.. and not cooped up at home. She got so much attention.. positive this time .. sweet!! She looks like a newborn in so many ways, it's hard to tell people she is almost 3 months old. I always end up telling an abridged version of their story.
It also felt strange to not have Austin with me. They are never apart and it made my heart hurt that he was left behind.. are my hormones still kickin or what?? He is having some colic-like issues lately and I am contemplating adding some different formula to his diet. I don't want to take him off of breast milk, but poor little guy is really struggling. :(( It breaks our hearts to hear him cry out in pain. We will try anything.. Grace is so mellow now and eats well, sleeps well.. super calm child. Good thing bc if I had two like Austin, I would freak.
Our Doula is leaving us alone this weekend for the first time since she started and I am scared. I have to admit though, two nights a week is nothing!!! You might not be hearing from me this weekend is all I am sayin..
Much love to all of you,
Erica and Tom
SIX whole hours of sleep!!
I cannot believe it but I actually slept for 6 hours last night! Our night nurse is so wonderful.. I want her to move in. :) Too bad she has her own life, bc I would steal her in a second if I could!!!
The kids are doing well.. nothing major to report today other than Tommy sneezed on Grace. I am now just waiting for the both of them to get some kind of cold. I started to panic yesterday and decided that the only thing I can do is what I am doing, keeping them isolated and as safe as possible. Tommy didn't know and if something major happens bc of this, we will deal with it. The issue is that if either of the twins get sick, they are back in the NICU for at least a week with antibiotics and such. They have such weak immune systems that catching anything could be catastrophic. .. very scary. The cold season doesn't help us either. I'll keep you posted...
Other than that, Grace has her appt today for her hips so I will check in later. .
Much love to you all,
Erica and Tom
The kids are doing well.. nothing major to report today other than Tommy sneezed on Grace. I am now just waiting for the both of them to get some kind of cold. I started to panic yesterday and decided that the only thing I can do is what I am doing, keeping them isolated and as safe as possible. Tommy didn't know and if something major happens bc of this, we will deal with it. The issue is that if either of the twins get sick, they are back in the NICU for at least a week with antibiotics and such. They have such weak immune systems that catching anything could be catastrophic. .. very scary. The cold season doesn't help us either. I'll keep you posted...
Other than that, Grace has her appt today for her hips so I will check in later. .
Much love to you all,
Erica and Tom
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
TWO MILLION DOLLAR BABIES!
Thank God for good insurance is all I can say at this point. I got the Explanation of Benefits from Blue Cross for the kids and each of them racked up a bill of more than $998,000.00!!! Because we had a maximum of $2500 out of pocket for inpatient services, that is all we will pay. Mind you this was our old policy and had we waited one more week, we would have been responsiblr for 10%! I'm a bit stunned by this information and am feeling quite blessed to have bypassed this potential disaster.
It jusr feels like God has His hand in this entire journey.. from walking them through the NICU with no major catastrphes to this.. I'm grateful. I still wish I could have carried them to term but they are safe and healthy and that is all that matters.
This week, we go to see the orthopedist for Grace's hips and I am nervous about it but am hoping that all is ok and she won't need a brace. That is the last of the follow up appts. and we will then just go to the normal schedule of doctor visits, etc.
The kids had photos taken yesterday by a photographer and I will post them when they become available. It was not as easy as I had hoped.. at all. Grace pooped on the blankets and Austin relieved himself on several as well. They fussed and cried but in the end, I think we got some great photos.. We even got Tommy to sit still for a bit but he refused to hold the twins so no pics of the three of them. Boo! Maybe next time..
Much love to you all from the trenches,
Erica and Tom
It jusr feels like God has His hand in this entire journey.. from walking them through the NICU with no major catastrphes to this.. I'm grateful. I still wish I could have carried them to term but they are safe and healthy and that is all that matters.
This week, we go to see the orthopedist for Grace's hips and I am nervous about it but am hoping that all is ok and she won't need a brace. That is the last of the follow up appts. and we will then just go to the normal schedule of doctor visits, etc.
The kids had photos taken yesterday by a photographer and I will post them when they become available. It was not as easy as I had hoped.. at all. Grace pooped on the blankets and Austin relieved himself on several as well. They fussed and cried but in the end, I think we got some great photos.. We even got Tommy to sit still for a bit but he refused to hold the twins so no pics of the three of them. Boo! Maybe next time..
Much love to you all from the trenches,
Erica and Tom
Monday, March 5, 2012
A new woman!!
I am so happy to say that I actually slept for FIVE hours last night.. After meeting the most amazing lady/night nurse.. my world is coming back into focus. I woke up at 5am and was ready to face the day.. Those were actually Tom's words.. he fell asleep around 11pm and I stayed up with our nanny until midnight. Tonight I will be sleeping right at 10pm when she gets here.. woo hoo!!
Sadly, my milk is not coming back. I think I will just let it go and move on. With Tommy, I remember when it started to go and I tried so hard to get it back. When it didn't happen, I was devastated. After all that we have been through, worse things can happen. I will feel blessed that I was able to feed them for 10 weeks and still have a ton of frozen milk. We will just go through that and then switch to formula.
If someone told me before the twins that all of this would happen (ALL of this, I mean).. I would have thought they were crazy. We have had a surreal three months (well, year actually) and when I look at these two little angels, I would do it all again. They are truly amazing, so incredibly beautiful and sweet and stinky and fussy and I love every second of it. (Spoken by a girl who slept last night of course!)
Cheers to motherhood and all that goes with it.
Much love to you all,
Erica and Tom
Sadly, my milk is not coming back. I think I will just let it go and move on. With Tommy, I remember when it started to go and I tried so hard to get it back. When it didn't happen, I was devastated. After all that we have been through, worse things can happen. I will feel blessed that I was able to feed them for 10 weeks and still have a ton of frozen milk. We will just go through that and then switch to formula.
If someone told me before the twins that all of this would happen (ALL of this, I mean).. I would have thought they were crazy. We have had a surreal three months (well, year actually) and when I look at these two little angels, I would do it all again. They are truly amazing, so incredibly beautiful and sweet and stinky and fussy and I love every second of it. (Spoken by a girl who slept last night of course!)
Cheers to motherhood and all that goes with it.
Much love to you all,
Erica and Tom
Saturday, March 3, 2012
We found a night nurse!!!!!!!
So, last night was a joke. Tom and I slept maybe 2 hours each.. between each baby waking up separately of each other off and on throughout the night, we were mush by 5am. Then of course Tommy woke up and wanted to watch cartoons and have a morning with us. We woke up intermittently to start a new episode here or there but were pretty much comatose. Our morning routine with Tommy is so fun and we have truly enjoyed it for about a year now. He wakes up and gets in our bed for cartoons and breakfast. The past several weeks, we really have dropped the ball. He probably thinks something is wrong with me.. bc whenever he sees me, I am sleeping or trying to sleep. Hopefully with the help of our new night nurse, we can change that.. Just knowing that she is coming tomorrow night makes tonight palpable.
Which brings me to HOW do other families do this????? Honestly, it is the work of three people and the thought of one person doing it alone makes me so sad. Thank GOD for Doulas!!! and thank you to all of you who made suggestions and helped me.. I am indebted!
The babies are changing each day.. looking more healthy and eating more and more.. they are up to 85-90ML each feeding which just blows my mind. We get a little change back but that is normal.
FYI on the breastfeeding saga.. I think my milk is drying up. I am totally devastated and just writing it makes me cry. I missed some pumping right when Grace came home and I think my body thought it was time to stop so it has been dwindling at a fast past this week. I used to pump 5-6 oz. every three hours and now I only get 3oz. I am going to try and strictly breastfeed tomorrow and see if I can get it back. There will be a lot of supplementing though.
That is all for now.. but more as it happens,
Much love to you all,
Erica and Tom
Which brings me to HOW do other families do this????? Honestly, it is the work of three people and the thought of one person doing it alone makes me so sad. Thank GOD for Doulas!!! and thank you to all of you who made suggestions and helped me.. I am indebted!
The babies are changing each day.. looking more healthy and eating more and more.. they are up to 85-90ML each feeding which just blows my mind. We get a little change back but that is normal.
FYI on the breastfeeding saga.. I think my milk is drying up. I am totally devastated and just writing it makes me cry. I missed some pumping right when Grace came home and I think my body thought it was time to stop so it has been dwindling at a fast past this week. I used to pump 5-6 oz. every three hours and now I only get 3oz. I am going to try and strictly breastfeed tomorrow and see if I can get it back. There will be a lot of supplementing though.
That is all for now.. but more as it happens,
Much love to you all,
Erica and Tom
Friday, March 2, 2012
One step closer..
The kids went to their second appt and they have grown!! Grace now weighs 6lbs. 12 oz. and Austin is SEVEN pounds!! I am so proud of them and watching them change each day is such a blessing. They had their vaccines too which sucked so they got Tylenol and have been fussy tonight. Hopefully they will sleep it off and tomorrow be back to normal. I had forgotten how traumatic this first few months are. After the eye doctor, they are wondering if they went home with the right people. :)
So sleepy so I am going but will post new pictures soon!
Erica and Tom
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